hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
