i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
