How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
