just come out here and I will go home with you...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
