hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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