Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
