I met the friendliest cop last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We have so much sex to catch up on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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