We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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