I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
