So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
