That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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