I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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