bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
