i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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