ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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