"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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