Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
