Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
