I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
