Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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