I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
