You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
