I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
