there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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