so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
