I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
