Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
