I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
