Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
