hotel room ftw
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
