Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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