I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
