Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
