Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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