You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Your penis caused this!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
