Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
