If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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