Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this just has baby written all over it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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