tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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