Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
