Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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