You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
