HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
