My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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