Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
