So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
