Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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