oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
