In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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