Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
