So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
