Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
